I don't understand myself. I really don't. There are times (and I think we all have these times if we're honest) that I am just absolutely drawn to something that I don't want and don't need to be drawn to. There's chocolate, of course. And Dr. Pepper. And, sometimes, All My Children. If I were being really honest with you, I'd tell you that General Hospital is on my TV right now. (I can only watch it at night so the kids won't catch me. Jonah always says soaps are "violent.") I'm only tuning in right now to find out about that Text Message Killer.

But this time, I'm not talking about those things. This time, something much more sinister has trapped me in its web. This time, we're talking two things: the internet, and real life crime stories.

Years ago, I went to church with a lady who supposedly lived in "The Town that Dreaded Sundown" around the time that it...you know...dreaded sundown. See, it was all based on a true story. So I just had to look it up. And it was all about the Phantom Killer who killed a bunch of teenagers in Texarkana in the 40's. Very upsetting. I wanted to stop reading it, because it was really disturbing, but I READ THE WHOLE THING.

A couple of months ago, I remembered watching that made for TV movie, "Murder in a Small Town." It had Barbara Hershey in a bad wig and thick glasses. She played Candy Morrison, who murdered her friend from church with a hatchet. Turns out, this is a TRUE STORY. So, I start reading about it on the web. It happened in Dallas in the early 80's. The lady's real name was Candy Montgomery. I read graphic details of this story and also saw some gruesome type photos. (Nothing too bad, just some blood, but still...it was real blood.) And the whole time I'm reading this stuff I'm thinking, "I really need to stop this. This is really upsetting me." BUT I DID NOT STOP. I read the whole thing.

Then, just last week, I was flipping through channels on the TV and I saw that "The Amityville Horror" was on. Not the old one, the new one with that cute Ryan Reynolds. I stopped for a minute to check it out. Please note: I am a life long fraidy-cat and have a life long HORROR OF THIS MOVIE. I remember my dad watching it when I was little. Remember how creepy James Brolin looked? My gosh, I was scared of that movie! And I didn't even watch it! I mostly just heard kids talking about it at the lunch table. Plus, everyone has always said it's all true.

So anyway, it was on, and I thought, "I'm grown. Let me just see if I'm still scared of it." Well, guess what. I was.

Later on, I decided to check it out on the web. I don't know why! I think somewhere in the back of my mind, I think I'll find some sort of information or proof that will make me feel better about the whole thing. That almost never happens. And, I think maybe it won't be so scary to read it instead of watch it. Again, I'm usually wrong.

So I read the story of how these folks bought the house even though a horrible murder was committed there, and soon after, strange things start happening. And Todd saw me reading it, and said, "Kristen, you'd better not! You'll be sorry later!" I rolled my eyes and kept reading, of course. I even got to the part where it lists off every scary incident that happened in the house. Again, please note: I am a life long fraidy-cat and have a life long HORROR OF THIS MOVIE. I told myself to stop reading, but I couldn't stop. I READ IT ALL!

So, a lot of weirdo stuff went down at that house. But what bothered me the most was that their little girl got a new imaginary friend right after they moved in. And get this...the friend was an extra large pig with glowing red eyes...and it's name was Jodie. For some reason this really upset me. And they also found extra large hoof prints in the snow outside (courtesy of Jodie, I suppose) and the dad once saw red glowing eyes looking at him from the kid's bedroom window.

Well, after I read all that, I was kind of upset. But I went on with my day. Then, that night, I could not stop thinking about that darn JODIE. I just had a horrible night. And I couldn't even tell Todd how scared I was of Jodie because I had rolled my eyes and kept on reading when he told me to stop.

Y'all know what? I had to take a break from writing this post because I started getting scared of Jodie again. I'm not kidding. (I'm home by myself in this big old house tonight, and some cats were fighting outside, so it's creepier than usual here.) So I better quit now before I get scared again.

This is the coversation that took place between Jonah and me this afternoon, when we were sitting at a stoplight beside an iridescent purple Lincoln Towncar with a gigantic (and perhaps vulgar, I'm not sure) hood ornament.

Jonah: Look! That car looks like a Hot Wheels.
Me: Yeah, it does.
Jonah: That looks cool.
Me: Yeah.
Jonah: Did our car used to look cool?
Me: No, our car has pretty much always looked kind of plain.
Jonah: Before you had me, were you and Daddy cool?
Me: What do you mean?
Jonah: Well, were you cool and had a cool car, or were you lame and had a lame car?
Me: What do you think?
Jonah: I think you were cool.
Me: What do you think we are now?
Jonah: You're lame!
Me: Well, give me an example of someone you know or someone you've seen that you think is cool.
Jonah: I saw this guy, and he had a really cool hat, and cool clothes and glasses, and he had some of that needle ink all over him.
Me: You mean a tattoo?
Jonah: Yeah!

This child is 6 years old. Heaven help us.